Thursday, September 12, 2013

Pull Up Your Big Girl Panties....

Ever have one of those days where you look around and ask yourself "what the hell am I doing?"?  I have those occasionally.  Towards the end of last week in fact, if I'm being honest.  After some serious contemplation on the subject, I've come to realize that there's a pattern.  It's almost like I have ADD, but with Employment.  

Seriously.  

I should form a support group for this.

Let me Preface this realization with a little background history for you - in case you're sitting there shaking your head, wondering if you've stumbled upon another crazy kook.  I'm no kook, though the jury is still out on the "crazy" part.  

I've been working since I turned 16.  Thanks to supportive yet firm parenting, I quickly realized how the world worked when responsibilities like car insurance, gas prices and what those cute tops at the mall actually cost for a real person.  I stayed with each place over several years, but would inevitably feel the "boredom" set in.  I would get restless, and thus move on to something else.  College wasn't much different, in the fact that it was like pulling teeth just for me to get an Associates Degree.  College was more or less not really for me, but I'm proud that I stuck with it to the end.

So, here I am, with that restless feeling.  Again.  

I'm an artist working a 9-5 desk job.  While I do not begrudge my fortune at having the blessing of a job and a steady paycheck, it is still lackluster for me.  I'm tired of the cycle I've sunk into over the years, and I've started to formulate steps to get myself outside the box again.  

 So, I've pulled up my big girl panties and really looked hard at what makes me happy (besides my husband and wonderful pups).  The answer really wasn't a surprise or that difficult to find.  Art.  The most wonderfully euphoric feeling in the world can only be achieved when I enter that trance-like process where my hands create something out of nothing.  It's a beautiful feeling - one that i wish I could bottle and pass out to everyone.  There really isn't anything like it. 

I want to be happy and excited about what I do for a living so its time to get creative - my inner me squares her shoulders, claps her hands together, and yells "LET'S DO THIS!".   

....Hmm, maybe I AM crazy after-all.....

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