Monday, March 14, 2016

The Decisions...

...I make are not easy ones.  

I'm bad about actually making the decisions sometimes.  Bad, like, I will ignore my entire studio for a length of time, pretending I don't have a gaping jaw looming over my shoulder dripping hot drool down my back.  


Ah, the jaws of responsibility. (see what I did there?)

Unfortunately, those decisions need to be made.  No amount of ignoring them will actually make them go away.  

Believe me, I have tried.

The problem for me isn't the decision itself, it's the "what ifs" that plague each choice...  

"What if it's too big?"
"What if that color isn't the right one to convey that feeling?"
"What if it's too small?"

Each color on a piece is a choice.  Each line is a choice, a decision, a "what if".  

You get it. 

An artist has to carefully consider each element to ensure everything works together and also convey the vision they hold.  Even abstract artists must consider their design choices prior to execution.  

Yes, they also have decisions to make regarding their paintings.  

Yes.  Their paintings are just as complex as a still life contemporary painting.  If you don't believe me, you should take a class on color theory - that alone should give you some insight and you're only scraping the very tip of that iceberg.  

Another discussion for another time, though.

My point here, is that I have trouble not being bogged down by all the possibilities.  Sometimes I don't even realize it.  Well...I realized it this morning that I was playing the avoidance game again but only after the fact.  

Sometimes I'm slow.  

Apparently this is my pattern though and, for me, it's kind of disturbing.  A culmination of fear, perfectionist nature and self doubt.  Quite the cocktail.  

But, we've already spoken of some of these things before.  What I love about this journey of discovery with my artwork is that I learn a little more about myself along the way and grow a little bit more as an artist and person. 

With that in mind I tell myself:

"It's okay if you make a mistake, you don't have to make a perfect specimen in the first go."
"Trust your gut, make a decision and stick with it."
"You're a damn good Artist and will only get better."
This applies to real life too...well, perhaps not the last one unless that was your career choice too ;)

Now that the pep-talk is complete, it's time for another round of coffee and some work. 

Enjoy this gorgeous Monday :)


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